Stupid things to do on a motorcycle !

My brother in law and I did allot of bike riding together out in the wild with no roads at all , we were heading accross country one time seeing if we could get to a main road a good 8 miles away through woods, farm land and creeks
we gave up on that idea as there were too many fences and we knew the owner and didn't want to cut them and re patch the fence..so we headed back... in the way there though we crossed a large creek no problem on the 250 trials bikes the water barely came up to the engine guard..... on the way back home though we took a more northerly path back and came up on the same creek it was allot skinnier here with swifter water, being dumb we decide to cross at where the water had the smoothest place....before the rapids so to speak....
well I head across first and the water went up over the transmission and I got hung up on a few boulders.... Lonnie was next after we hauled me out..... he decides to move up stream about 2 feet to miss that big bolder and he eases into it nice and gentle and he just keeps going down and down, and down till the bike quits and he is in chest deep water and his eyes are as big as saucers ! I was laughing so hard I fell down !
he says, well this ain't the spot either ! we literally had to carry the bike by hand the rest of the way across the creek
..... we tried to start the bike but there was no way.... so I had a rope with me and towed him back home from there
we learned years before the "Don't tie the bike to the rope" trick but it is not an easy task to tow another bike from a bike on rough terrain
we wound up on the ground more than once getting back home !
so we learned that day Do not ride into the water unless you know How deep it is ! ..... you wouldn't have thought that we couldn't figure that out before hand but those bikes would do anything ! ....except run under water as we found out ! .....
I still shake my head and chuckle, when I think of that and Lonnies EYES real big like OOOOOOH Shit !!!!!!!
......
Bob........
 
Aint nothing like that "OH SHIT" look.....
 
I forgot to put down sidestand in front of everyone at work.
I was out riding the FJ earlier this summer and stopped at Mickey D's for a bite. There were a couple of 80's UJMs in the parking lot so I looked around and ID'd the riders.

We met in the parking lot and chatted a bit and the subject of how long we'd been riding came up. I proudly stated that I'd been riding for 50 years, fired up the bike, kicked it into gear...and killed it.

Forgot to put the side-stand up...
 
Riding a flat rear tire about 10 miles on the freeway before there was a side road to get off on.... that was hairy on a flimsy 2 ply tire !
it was fish tailing the entire time ! ....lesson learned ..never buy a lightweight tire !!!!!( i think they outlawed then anyway) that destroyed the tube , and scratched the hell out of the rim.... had a flat on a bigger heavier machine with a good beefy tire on the back and it was like riding with it under inflated was all, a major difference !
.....
Bob........
 
Bought a bike and it went ok but i had so much trouble with the handling, it just felt wrong...........pulled the back wheel checked the bearings, all ok.....no, still not right............checked the swing-arm, all seemed ok.......no, still not right..............readjusted the front end and went through the front bearings...........no, still not right...........checked the frame for damage thinking it may have been in a crash, all aligned right...........for the life of me i couldn't figure it out.........started to think it's just the friggin bike and i had a lemon..................

That's when a friend of mine asked me if the tyres were new..........good tread, no sidewall cracks.......whats not good about the tyres......................yep you got it the tyres were hard so as a last resort i bought a new set....................yep fixed...

Took me months, and a valuable lesson learned
 
My trouser-changer would be not knowing what town I'm in.
I felt like a candidate for a silver alert yesterday. I went out a country road where somebody said there was a shop; nothing there but decided to keep going just to explore. Saw an arrow sign for a town I recognized, but thought it was south and I was going north. Took that turn, knowing there is a good road out. Ended up in a maze of little roads with slopes of 30 degrees and hairpin turns and semi-sized coal trucks going up and down at 5 mph. Pulled over on a little wide place to listen for the truck to making it over the mountain, Then comes another... I wait a little longer. Notice there are stink bugs everywhere. Finally got going again and discovered my helmet had stink bugs inside. Crawling around the inside of the visor. Stopped in the middle of the road. Whatever happens will happen but not going to have big bugs in there like a horror movie. To get out of there, decided whenever I come to an intersection, I will take the biggest road, and get back to civilization someday. Finally came to a road I recognized the number of but didn't know where on it I was. Saw a store and got a hamburger and asked which way I need to go on that road to get to Hwy 11, knowing my way back from there. Little girl in there was yelling for her mother to come get the stink bug off her animal book.
 
Still on chains, adjusting the chain and forgetting the back brake. Wondering why this effin bike has got no power today. The penny only dropped when smoke was billowing off the back hub. Tell me You aint never don it.:doh::hellno:.
Hmm. Tell me about this. As still just a noob... I recently installed a 33T rear cog. That required the wheel off, rear brake detached etc. Putting everything back together, I adjusted the chain tension, then reconnected the drum brake. Upon the first test ride, I was blown away by how much stronger the rear brake worked.

Did I possibly botch something??!
 
Nah GeorgeOC you just discovered you tightened the chain without adjusting the rear brake ! LOL something we have all forgotten at one time or another.... LOL if you take allot of slack out the rear brake peddle won't press down at all and be hard as a rock.....
( don't ask me how I know this.... but I did catch it at the first stop sign ! whipped over to the side of the road and had to get my wrench out it was so tight ! ....backed it off about 3 turns and went on to town ! )....
Bob......
 
Hmm. Tell me about this. As still just a noob... I recently installed a 33T rear cog. That required the wheel off, rear brake detached etc. Putting everything back together, I adjusted the chain tension, then reconnected the drum brake. Upon the first test ride, I was blown away by how much stronger the rear brake worked.
Did I possibly botch something??!

No you got it right...........Here is a tip xsleo bought to our attention back in the 650rider days
xsleo; wrote,
Quote::
I might suggest that when you get the chain set right, if you have a drum brake on the rear, that when you tighten the axle nut you hold the brake pedal down. This expands the pads out to press evenly on the drum to center the drum around the pads. This will help the brake work better, both pads will hit the drum at the same time.
 
Nah GeorgeOC you just discovered you tightened the chain without adjusting the rear brake ! LOL something we have all forgotten at one time or another.... LOL if you take allot of slack out the rear brake peddle won't press down at all and be hard as a rock.....
( don't ask me how I know this.... but I did catch it at the first stop sign ! whipped over to the side of the road and had to get my wrench out it was so tight ! ....backed it off about 3 turns and went on to town ! )....
Bob......

No you got it right...........Here is a tip xsleo bought to our attention back in the 650rider days
xsleo; wrote,
Quote::
I might suggest that when you get the chain set right, if you have a drum brake on the rear, that when you tighten the axle nut you hold the brake pedal down. This expands the pads out to press evenly on the drum to center the drum around the pads. This will help the brake work better, both pads will hit the drum at the same time.
Thank you kindly guys! Great info/assurance.
 
I once was riding in 4th gear only to discover that when I changed up I was already in 5th. Now that was scary!!!! Changed my trousers twice that day.

made me larf......reminds me of the day I was steaming up the dual carriageway with the Wife and late for an important business meeting as usual .

Came to our turn off the motorway and took the slipway which turned out to be really really short with a right angle bend at the end. Looked at the speedo which was still registering 90mph :eek: its so easy to be going a lot faster than you think in a powerful Porsche .

Luckily it had a gravel emergency lane at the end which I ploughed into at 50mph burying the spoiler :) ...........Let the Wife drive after that
 
Last edited:
Jamesgs4, now that's not stupid, that's amazing!! Did you have to clean your filters after that? Did your bike or helmet get sand-blasted? Is that dust full of caustic/soda or anything nasty from the dried out lake?

Edit: Just checked and there is a lot of Lithium salts in the area. Good for treating Bipolar Disorders????
 
I was out riding the FJ earlier this summer and stopped at Mickey D's for a bite. There were a couple of 80's UJMs in the parking lot so I looked around and ID'd the riders.

We met in the parking lot and chatted a bit and the subject of how long we'd been riding came up. I proudly stated that I'd been riding for 50 years, fired up the bike, kicked it into gear...and killed it.

Forgot to put the side-stand up...

Yup - my ST1300 does that too. I guess it prevents the even greater embarrassment caused by departing with the stand down and making a dramatic left hander out of the parking lot - followed shortly thereafter by a hard landing on the right side and a slide across the street.

When I was a boy with my shiny blue 1975 Honda CB360T, I went to a Dairy Queen with my Madam duJour (girlfriend) for a cone. There was a big, stupid looking HD guy sitting there holding court with the local yokel teenyboppers. As soon as we parked, he started making loud remarks about “rice burners”, “soy sauce”, etc etc. Then he made a crack about my lady friend - so I went over and told him to pull his lower lip over his forehead and swallow hard.
Yes, I know....unwise.
A bit of a standoff occurred and my girlfriend rescued me by stating her preference for men with larger...equipment and smaller, less noisy and leaky bikes.

Once Mr. HD had processed that statement, he stormed over to his hog, kicked it (this was about 1978 or so) and sat reving it for a few seconds to ensure that we all knew it was running....and then he roared off and made a dramatic left hander onto the street...followed by...you guessed it.

Hilarious....particularly because after the cop arrived (a young lady officer who weighed about 100 lb, as it happened). She came over to ask me if I would help lift the bike off Mr. HD (who was pretty dazed and had a dislocated shoulder) and move it off the roadway.

Mr. HD was NOT pleased to watch me stand his bike up, fold the side stand and duck-walk it off the street.

I did not look at him in a smug fashion while sitting on his bike, nor did I covertly flip him the bird when the cop wasn’t looking.

I promise.
 
Last edited:
Jamesgs4, now that's not stupid, that's amazing!! Did you have to clean your filters after that? Did your bike or helmet get sand-blasted? Is that dust full of caustic/soda or anything nasty from the dried out lake?

Edit: Just checked and there is a lot of Lithium salts in the area. Good for treating Bipolar Disorders????
there was sand everywhere possible lol. it got a full blow out and bath when I got home. my buddy had it worse, his helmet was open faced.
 
One time my buddy and I were coming from somewhere and he decided he needed a pack of smokes. So I pulled into a parking lot in front of the convenience store and he jumped off and went in. I decided I would just do a lap around the building and figured he would be out by the time I reached the front of the building. So here I am all slid back on my GS putting around in first gear. Sun glasses on, all stretched out, fingers tips hanging on the bars. Then she suddenly died (going to slow in gear) she lurched forward, I found myself up over the handlebars instantly with my grip on the bars reversed now. I couldn't get back on the seat, and down I went like a ton of bricks! Of coarse I was near the front of the store in front of everyone. My buddy came out and looked at me on the ground and asked me wtf was I doing? Yep
 
Years back while riding my super sweet XJ650RJ (82 Seca ) over the Cascades mtn pass , I found myself under dressed in blue jeans and denim for a fall rain and cold spell. Was pushing on cold when I fortunately came upon a road construction stop ahead. So I put my arms off the bars tucked in for warmth as I started to clutchless down shift timing rpms with gears and rear braking all the way down to neutral. Boy did that look Cool !! As I planted my left foot to the pavement and intended to sit there, my frozen left leg gave no feed back and no strength, collapsing.. As I fell over left side there in the highway, people watching this, I did all I could to keep my bike off the pavement. Including self sacrifice of elbow and left boot now stuck under the frame.. Was a great moment when the driver in front of me, who watched it all , came quickly to lift my bike up. . No damage to bike ! I was too cold to feel much of the pain.. All Goood !! -RT
 
One time my buddy and I were coming from somewhere and he decided he needed a pack of smokes. So I pulled into a parking lot in front of the convenience store and he jumped off and went in. I decided I would just do a lap around the building and figured he would be out by the time I reached the front of the building. So here I am all slid back on my GS putting around in first gear. Sun glasses on, all stretched out, fingers tips hanging on the bars. Then she suddenly died (going to slow in gear) she lurched forward, I found myself up over the handlebars instantly with my grip on the bars reversed now. I couldn't get back on the seat, and down I went like a ton of bricks! Of coarse I was near the front of the store in front of everyone. My buddy came out and looked at me on the ground and asked me wtf was I doing? Yep

....as my Dad used to say when I did stuff like that: "Smooth move ExLax!"

tee hee....
 
Back
Top