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justa joke

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by weekendrider, Jan 10, 2010.

  1. GLJ

    GLJ Ran through life like my hair was on fire 650 time Top Contributor

  2. kshansen

    kshansen XS650 Junkie Top Contributor

    I've often wondered if our mother knew where we were most of the time, at least when we were at school she had some idea!
    And the third one down in right column sound very familiar!

    Have to feel sorry for kids like our five year old grandson, sure is a different world. All we had to worry about was getting nuked!
    geedubya, Jim, gggGary and 3 others like this.
  3. MrBultaco

    MrBultaco it ran before parked Top Contributor XS650.com Supporter

    I saw this a few years ago, only it was hillbillary, not trump...funny either way:laugh2:
    geedubya and Jim like this.
  4. Paul Sutton

    Paul Sutton Buckhorn Gang Member Top Contributor

    Did my mother know I was hiding in a ditch with my mates after school throwing stones at passing cars?
    Did my father honestly believe it was going to hurt him a lot more than it was going to hurt me?
    Did that hand shaped bruise complete with fingers on my bum also believe that story?
    Why did my father believe it was the tom cats pissing on his tomatoes each night following one of his beatings? Perhaps correlation was not his key skill, but the tomatoes were very nice...
    peanut, geedubya, Jim and 2 others like this.
  5. xjwmx

    xjwmx XS650 Guru Top Contributor

    Here's a picture I took in western KY. If it was a snake, would it have bit you?
  6. Paul Sutton

    Paul Sutton Buckhorn Gang Member Top Contributor

    Xjwmx, very well hidden indeed! Did it get the cyclist?
    Last edited: May 16, 2019
    peanut and gggGary like this.
  7. xjwmx

    xjwmx XS650 Guru Top Contributor

    I don't know what happened to Waldo himself, just his bicycle.

    Here was the next sight, the confluence of the Mississippi and the Ohio. Didn't know what to expect there, so was a fascinating sight.
    giant cross at missippi and ohio brdgs in background.jpg
    geedubya, Paul Sutton and gggGary like this.
  8. Paul Sutton

    Paul Sutton Buckhorn Gang Member Top Contributor

    I took the risk and bought a small electric waxing/polishing machine from China. Here is a section of the user instructions:

    PSutton Reg051.jpg

    Instructions 2 and 3 puzzled me! I did not think polishing was exciting enough for one to "throw off". Perhaps one really must be "padded up front".
    Last edited: May 19, 2019
    peanut, gggGary, geedubya and 4 others like this.
  9. TwoManyXS1Bs

    TwoManyXS1Bs BBQ Hunter Top Contributor

    Haha, the amusing and disturbing infancy of language translators.

    Must have something to do with "wash and dry the sailors".

    Wonder what you would get if you took those instructions, translated them to Portuguese, then Russian, then Greek, then German, then back to Chinese?
    CBJamie, gggGary, MrBultaco and 3 others like this.
  10. kshansen

    kshansen XS650 Junkie Top Contributor

    I'm sure the sailors would prefer warm water over the cold water!
  11. geedubya

    geedubya geedubya XS650.com Supporter

    Ah good old Engrish!!!!
  12. fredintoon

    fredintoon Fred Hill, S'toon. Top Contributor

    Hi GW,
    allegedly true, a language translation program was set to translate English proverbs into Russian.
    seems the Russian equivalent of "Out of sight, out of mind" is "Invisible Idiot"
    Mailman, geedubya, Jim and 3 others like this.
  13. 59Tebo

    59Tebo 59Tebo Top Contributor

    A similar program turned "...the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak." to "the wine is agreeable, but the meat is spoiled."
    So much for "modern" technology! :laugh:
    ...maybe it's Russian collusion...
  14. Greyandridin

    Greyandridin XS650 Addict XS650.com Supporter

    Jim likes this.
  15. gggGary

    gggGary Stop that! Top Contributor XS650.com Supporter

  16. Mailman

    Mailman Hardly a Guru Top Contributor

    My wife always accuses me of over thinking small around the house jobs. For example if she wanted a picture hung, I would go get my tape measure, six foot level, and blue painters tape , so I could find the center of the wall and then measure the distance from the hanger to the bottom of the picture and then mark out the level bottom with the painters tape, then I would hang it with an anchor that you could hang an elephant from.
    What can I say, OCD strikes again. So when I saw this it cracked me up! That’d be me!
  17. peanut

    peanut XS650 Guru Top Contributor

    A man absolutely hated his wife's cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park.
    As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway.

    The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the beast out and headed home. Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat!

    He kept taking the cat further and further and the cat would always beat him home. At last he decided to drive a good few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there.

    Hours later the man calls home to his wife: "Jen, is the cat there?"

    "Yes, he's curled up on my lap", the wife answers, "why do you ask?"

    Frustrated, the man answered, "Put him on the phone, I'm lost and need directions!"
    Greyandridin, Mailman, Jim and 5 others like this.
  18. GLJ

    GLJ Ran through life like my hair was on fire 650 time Top Contributor

    A woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Arizona when her car broke down. A Navajo on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town. She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful, except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a' so loud that it echoed from the surrounding hills. When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, yelled one final 'Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a!' and rode off. 'What did you do to get that Indian so excited?' asked the service-station attendant. 'Nothing,' the woman answered. 'I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto the saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off.' 'Lady,' the attendant said, 'Indians don't use saddles'

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