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justa joke

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by weekendrider, Jan 10, 2010.

  1. MaxPete

    MaxPete Lucille, Betty & Demi - I suggest but THEY decide. XS650.com Supporter Top Contributor

    OK - give me a minute.....there is something wrong with that, isn't there?

    Just wait - its coming to me.....:umm:
    Team Junk, Jim, Mailman and 1 other person like this.
  2. Mailman

    Mailman Hardly a Guru Top Contributor

    You gotta love YouTube :laugh2: North Koreans marching to BeeGees music

  3. MaxPete

    MaxPete Lucille, Betty & Demi - I suggest but THEY decide. XS650.com Supporter Top Contributor

    Hey there Mailman - no politics!

    ...well, OK - just this once...:lmao:

    Jack_Nicholson - thumbs-up.jpeg
    Last edited: Dec 12, 2019
    geedubya, Mailman and Jim like this.
  4. 59Tebo

    59Tebo 59Tebo Top Contributor

    S.B.O.M.N. Bob! (Snorted Beer Out My Nose) Thanks. I needed the laugh. :laughing:
    Jim, Mailman, MaxPete and 1 other person like this.
  5. MrBultaco

    MrBultaco it ran before being parked Top Contributor

    Older Men Scam

    Women often receive warnings about protecting themselves at the mall and in dark parking lots, etc. This is the first warning I have seen for men. I wanted to pass it on in case you haven't heard about it. A 'heads up' for those men who may be regular customers at Lowe's, Home Depot, Costco, or even Wal-Mart.

    This one caught me totally by surprise. Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends.

    Here's how the scam works; Two very beautiful, college-age girls will come over to your car or truck as you are packing your purchases into your vehicle. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. (It's impossible not to look). When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' but instead ask for a ride to McDonald's.

    You agree and they climb into the vehicle On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet.

    I had my wallet stolen February 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, again on the 17th, 20th, 24th, and the 28th. Also March 1st, 2nd, 8th, twice on the 9th &10th, and very likely again tomorrow and Wednesday.

    So tell your friends to be careful. What a horrible way to take advantage of us older men. Warn your friends to be vigilant.

    Wal-Mart has wallets on sale for $2.99 each. I found even cheaper ones for $.99 at the Dollar Tree and bought them out in three of their stores.

    Also, you never get to eat at McDonald's. I've already lost 11 pounds just running back and forth from Lowe's, to Home Depot, to Wal-Mart.

    So please, send this on to all the older men that you know and warn them to be on the lookout for this scam. (The best times are just before lunch and around 4:30 in the afternoon.)
  6. Signal

    Signal XS650 Junkie Top Contributor

  7. resto

    resto XS650 Addict

    A man went to church one day and afterward he stopped to shake the preacher's hand. He said, “Preacher, I’ll tell you, that was a damned fine sermon... Damned good!”

    The preacher said, “Thank you sir, but I'd rather you didn't use profanity.”

    The man said, “I was so damned impressed with that sermon I put five thousand dollars in the offering plate!”

    The preacher said, “No shit?”
  8. 59Tebo

    59Tebo 59Tebo Top Contributor

    "...you'll go blind!..." Then I'll only do it until I need glasses! :laugh:
  9. JimmyKnievel

    JimmyKnievel XS650 Member XS650.com Supporter

    An Englishman is delivering a load of monkeys to the zoo when his van breaks down.

    Stopped at the side of the road he sees Paddy behind him so flags him down.

    "Alright mate, im in a spot of bother here, if i give you £50 will you bring these monkeys down to the zoo for me"?

    "No bother at all, load them up" says Paddy and off he went.

    Two hours later the Englishman is still waiting for roadside assistance and who does he see coming towards him? Paddy and the van full of monkeys.

    He flagged him down and said "fuck sake Paddy i thought i gave you £50 to take them to the zoo"!

    "I did" said Paddy "but ive a few quid left so we're off to the cinema now.
    Jim, kshansen, TwoManyXS1Bs and 6 others like this.
  10. GLJ

    GLJ Never go faster than your guardian angle can fly. Top Contributor

    On a farm lived a chicken and a horse who loved to play together. One day the two were playing together when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink. Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go and get the farmer to get help.
    Off the chicken ran back to the farm. Arriving, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor. Running around, the chicken spied the farmers' new Harley. Finding the keys, the chicken sped off in it with a length of rope, hoping he still had time to save his friends life. Back at the bog the horse was surprised, but happy to see the chicken arrive on the shiny Harley, and managed to get hold of the loop of rope the chicken had tossed him. After tying the other end to rear of the farmers bike, the chicken then drove slowly forward and with the aid of the bike rescued the horse. Happy and proud, the chicken drove the Harley back to the farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned. The friendship between the two animals was cemented, best buddies, best pals.

    A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and he too began to sink, and cried out to the horse to save his life. The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle. Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his penis and he would lift him out of the pit. The chicken got a good grip and the horse pulled him out, saving his life. The moral of the story? When you're hung like a horse, you don't need a Harley-Davidson to pick up chicks.
  11. Scottrt

    Scottrt XS650 Enthusiast

    What Asian stereotype do you hear most frequently? ...... For me it's Sony surround sound.
  12. gggGary

    gggGary Stop that! XS650.com Supporter Top Contributor

    Last edited: Dec 25, 2019
  13. gggGary

    gggGary Stop that! XS650.com Supporter Top Contributor

    I didn't mean for that picture to be published DE!
    MaxPete, geedubya, Mailman and 3 others like this.
  14. Downeaster

    Downeaster Everything in XS Top Contributor

    Sorry, didn't see the copyright...:whistle::cheers:
    MaxPete, Jim and gggGary like this.
  15. GLJ

    GLJ Never go faster than your guardian angle can fly. Top Contributor

    Boy aged 4: Dad, I’ve decided to get married.
    Dad: Wonderful; do you have a girl in mind?!

    Boy: Yes... grandma! She said she loves me, I love her, too....and she’s the best cook & story teller in the whole world!

    Dad: That’s nice, but we have a small problem there!

    Boy: What problem?!

    Dad: She happens to be my mother. How can you marry my mother!

    Boy: Why not?! You married mine!

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