Once again, I have been certified

Downeaster

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as a perfect a-hole.

Colonoscopy today. In the process of confirming that I was the correct patient the OR Nurse asked me what I was in for. I said "You're about to shove 4 feet of garden hose up my butt."

She looked at me for a second and then said "How did you know we had a contract with Home Depot?"

Nurse with a sense of humor...whadda concept!
 

motormike

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Years ago... a coworker at the shop fell and hurt his back. He was mid 50's. Got to the Doc's ... blah blah blah.. X rays... Doc returned.. said back is fine.. but you got 6 months. He never got the happy probe.... if he had at 50.... and at regular intervals.... he would still be bitch'n about work.. Doc nailed the time frame... pretty much 6 months to the day. So when I turned the big five O'.... Drink the gruel... Aaaaargh, nasty ! they found the usual... normal... But at 58 they found a large lump... (later determined non cancer) which the probe Doc couldn't remove. Required a bowel resection.... ( cut out the section, sew it back up ) Can't leave the hospital until ya can pass gas.... this indicates the section isn't leaking ... gas... " material ".... the good part.. all the jello and ice cream I wanted.... the bad part... my wife worked for the hospital.. so for the 3 days I was there.... they let her have the bed next to me.... :confused:
 

46th Georgia

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Years ago... a coworker at the shop fell and hurt his back. He was mid 50's. Got to the Doc's ... blah blah blah.. X rays... Doc returned.. said back is fine.. but you got 6 months. He never got the happy probe.... if he had at 50.... and at regular intervals.... he would still be bitch'n about work.. Doc nailed the time frame... pretty much 6 months to the day. So when I turned the big five O'.... Drink the gruel... Aaaaargh, nasty ! they found the usual... normal... But at 58 they found a large lump... (later determined non cancer) which the probe Doc couldn't remove. Required a bowel resection.... ( cut out the section, sew it back up ) Can't leave the hospital until ya can pass gas.... this indicates the section isn't leaking ... gas... " material ".... the good part.. all the jello and ice cream I wanted.... the bad part... my wife worked for the hospital.. so for the 3 days I was there.... they let her have the bed next to me.... :confused:
Glad it worked out the way it did for you.
 

jetmechmarty

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I did my first one just before or after my 50th birthday. I had 17 polyps removed, seven of them the doctor described as precancers. I've been a regular since then. My last was two years ago and I think they gave me five last time. I made drastic diet changes since and I'm very curious as to what the effect of that is. Otherwise, it's been polyps every time. So, for me, I think avoiding this would have had a bad outcome. I lost one of my high school buddies to colon cancer this year. Not going through the screening, cost him his life.

For those of us posting here, I'm glad we're just making funny jokes about it. I'm glad we have the borescope technology to protect us (without disassembly).
 

Mailman

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Same here, absolutely hate having it done, but every time they find polyps, last time was nine of them. I’m on the frequent schedule as well. Having already survived prostate cancer I have no desire to have colon cancer. A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do!
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46th Georgia

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Same here, absolutely hate having it done, but every time they find polyps, last time was nine of them. I’m on the frequent schedule as well. Having already survived prostate cancer I have no desire to have colon cancer. A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do!
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I dreaded my first one. After having it I wondered what the big deal was. Hope you stay cancer free my friend.
 
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