You guys are very fortunate. My area is nice and warm with lots of trees and flowers and for Canada - an incredibly mild climate - but it is as flat as a the top of my head. The only hills in town are two closed up landfills. The city sodded them over and now they're parks - kids use them to slide on if there is any snow.
Because they were landfills, we call them "Mount Trashmore" - no offense intended.
I feel bad for you, Pete. If I were in your shoes, I would hunt for a new neighborhood. Thats what I did, and it took me 3 years. Found some acreage in bike riding territory. The road I live on has 15 miles of curves and hills one way, and 3 the other way. However, the first 13 curves in the north direction have a reputation, meaningful only if you are superstitious. Here is the history:
The Bloody Bride of 13 Curves Road"
Over sixty years ago, a brutal, terrifying car accident occurred on Cedarvale Road, in Onondaga, New York, just ten miles southwest of Syracuse. Since that fateful day some six decades ago, it has been said that the road, which is known better by its nickname, “13 Curves,” has been haunted by the souls of those who died in this tragic accident.
There are a variety of legends that explain how this road and its ominous curves have come to be haunted. All of the stories involve the untimely death of recently married young people.
The most popular legend says that the car accident involved a newly married couple, who were negotiating the road on their wedding night. While coming around one of the thirteen curves of Cedarvale Road, the car veered out of control, off of the road, and into a nearby creek. The impact killed the bride and groom instantly. Since that day, travelers on Cedarvale Road have seen the ghostly image of a bride with glowing eyes, who is sometimes covered in blood, and who is sometimes carrying a glowing orange lantern, wandering the curves of the road. In some instances, the bride simply stands on the hills along the road, or walks along its shoulder. At other times, she seems more vindictive, leaping towards cars, causing their unsuspecting drivers to crash their vehicles.