1989, first wife and I went to France touring on a Z1B. Stayed a few days in Argentat, then on the Saturday we set off north for the long haul to Cherbourg, the plan being ferry and home on Sunday, ready for work on Monday.
Got as far as Tulle and the bloody bike broke - cam-chain tensioner let go, chain walked, valves and pistons had a brawl. Spent all Saturday in a wee bike shop called Fox Moto trying in vain to fix it. Sunday, we hitched all the way across France in a single day to catch a ferry. That was a story in itself.
Couldn't leave Hiro Hito in that French basement workshop now could we? Looked into hiring a van, but mention going to France they either refuse the hire OR demand a multi-£000s deposit. Ain't happening. So we had to use our car. A Peugeot 104 is a small hatchback car. so it needed a bit of thought if it was going to rescue a 540 lb Kawasaki Z1. IIRC head scratching and tape measures came into it.
Took out the rear seat and checked we could remove the passenger seat. Took with us a box of tools, weekend clothes, plus a set of work clothes, a couple crates of beer, bought a cheap weekend ferry ticket, and set off to France after work on Friday. Drove all Friday night and reached Fox Moto in Tulle on Saturday morning. Where we were confronted by a lack of understanding - No, you ave not come to collect ze bike, not in zis!
But I persuaded them to bring Hiro Hito up from the workshop while we removed the little car's passenger seat and placed it beside the car. The Z1 was placed just behind the car on its centre stand. Tailgate open, and les Francais could see the rear seat was absent. Ah! Hiro Hito had the indignity of front wheel removed, along with headlamp and instruments, forks, seat, rear mudguard and tail lights. With the Fox Moto guys helping, the Z1 was lifted bodily forward till the headstock was against the dashboard. It was just possible to close the rear hatch - maybe one inch between tyre and rear window. Front wheel placed alongside the bike steadied it. Tool box was placed behind driver's seat, passenger seat was placed on top of toolbox, all the bits and pieces were packed around. The beer was a little cadeau for the mechanics. We got in, one behind the other, but couldn't leave till the Fox Moto patron had enough photos. Incroyable!
Funny looks for the next 500 miles. Especially because our car was RHD so to French motorists it looked as if there were two passengers but no driver . . . or was the bike driving? Zut alors!
Saturday night we stopped more than halfway back to the ferry port. Sunday a leisurely day and enough time to visit the D-Day beaches. Quite a crowd when we got back to the car. With a large motorbike stuck inside! Sacre bleu!
Overnight ferry, docked Portsmouth at breakfast time on Monday, just made it to the office in time for work. Fielded the inevitable questions about that bike inside your car? Attempts to explain would result in But why on Earth would you go all the way to southern France to rescue a 15 year-old motorbike?
At home Monday evening a bystander might have witnessed the miracle of a Peugeot 104 giving slow and painful birth to a bumping baby motorbike.
Oh such fun.
