Bar room signs and other words of wisdom:

[jayel]

Bar room signs and other words of wisdom:

Fighting for peace is like
Screwing for virginity.

No matter how good she looks,
Some other guy is sick and tired
Of putting up with her shit.

It's hard to make a comeback
When you haven't been anywhere.

Make love, not war.
Hell, do both
GET MARRIED!

If voting could really change things,
It would be illegal.

Express Lane:
Five beers or less
Sign over one of the urinals in Men's restroom,

No wonder you always go home alone.
Sign over mirror in Men's restroom,

HAPPINESS:
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a

little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to

understand her at all.

LONGEVITY:
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot

more willing to die...

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE:
A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

 

[xjwmx]

#2 is worth remembering....

 

[atomic22]

Here I sit all broken heart'd
Tried to shit
But only Farted..

Above a stall at a bar:
When the tummy rumbles take a poopie

 

[MrBillohnooo]

Beware of loose women and pickpockets!

 

[tadd442]

Anyone can pee on the floor, be a hero and shit on the ceiling.....

 

[Militant_Buddhist]

jerk off THEN go back out there and see if she's still worth buying a drink for

Definition of a Misogynist: Anyone who disagrees with a feminist

"This is not a urinal"
Signed, Ma Grit

 

[501Spanky]

Flush twice, it's a long way to the kitchen.
Sign in a pub bathroom.

 

[Kingwj]

The always popular:

Liquor in the front,
Poker in the rear.

 

[hamamatsu]

It's better to fart and bear the shame...

Than not to fart and bear the pain...

 

[pyroman]

Please dont throw toothpicks in the urinal
Texas Crabs can pole vault

 

[hotdog]

"The Mantra of Consumerism"

Spending money you don't have
On things you don't need
Trying to impress people you don't like

 

[wesleyonoel]

Handwritten note on the wall behind the bar at the Bale of Hay Saloon in Virginia City, MT................... Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder.

 

[littlebill31]

Over the exit: "Free Beer Tomorrow"

What one of my senior Marines told all us privates about chicks in bars:
She's not worth it.
Go home, hold the money in one hand and jerk off with the other.
Then put the money back in your pocket.

 

[MUCHADO]

"ABSOLUTLY NO ARM WRESTLING"

I asked the bartender why and he said they had a problem with grumpy old men throwin it down 15+ years ago...

 

[tadd442]

A brewhouse just opened here in town. It's quite trendy & elegant to say the least. All of the wood, including around the bar is very dark & linear. The last time I was in there I noticed a sign written in a very fancy font that read: "Cheer the Hell Up".

 

[pumps]

No matter how good she looks,
Some other guy is sick and tired
Of putting up with her shit.

Aaaah a truer statement was never made.

What about this?
Why do married men die before their wives?
Because they want to.

 

[pyroman]

Women are like Elephants,
nice to look at, but I wouldn't want to own one. W.C. Fields

 

[Kingwj]

A brewhouse just opened here in town. It's quite trendy & elegant to say the least. All of the wood, including around the bar is very dark & linear. The last time I was in there I noticed a sign written in a very fancy font that read: "Cheer the Hell Up".

You get New Glarus, what do you have to be upset about?

 

[swbill]

on the wall behind the bar-- If you drink to forget please pay first.

 

[swbill]

Here I sit all broken heart'd
Tried to shit
But only Farted..

Above a stall at a bar:
When the tummy rumbles take a poopie

Part 2 of that is: "And to those who read my words of wit can eat my tiny balls of shit"