Bar room signs and other words of wisdom:

[pyroman]

I used to hang out in a small west Texas beer bar, that had a sign hanging by the mirror. It said "Ask about Our Free Chicken Dinner" I finally couldnt stand it any more and asked about it. The Owner/Barmaid handed Me a paper plate with Kernels of corn glued all over it. "See if Your pecker is hard enough for this" She said.

 

[pyroman]

Same Bar, same Barmaid. The sign said "For Sale, 1980 Henway". I finally bit, "whats a Henway?" "About 3 pounds " says She.

 

[KenN]

First bar I ever drank in had the sign:
"If your wife drives you to drink, ask her to drive you here"

 

[3-Ball]

Take any married couple -- the husband typically dies first.

I'm told that's because they want to.

 

[littlebill31]

I saw a good one the other day. Men's bathroom in a bar, behind the toilet, "Please aim straight. The next person may be on all fours".

 

[angus67]

kitten on a clothesline-----"hang in there".
i saw it! really!

 

[xjwmx]

"No profanity or profundity."

 

[xjwmx]

And also-

"May God allow those who love us to love us, and may he speak to the hearts of those who don't love us and make them love us also, and if he is unable to do that may he twist their ankle so that we know them by their limp."

 

[ReycleBill]

Saw it in the men's room at a truckstop/bar/restaurant/brothel on US 301 in Florida back in the '70s:

"Here I sit with a broken heart,
took fourteen pills and my truck won't start"

Directly below somebody replied:

"If those pills were worth a f$#*
you'd get out and push that truck."

 

[jayel]

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Let's face it. After Monday and Tuesday...
even the calendar says - W T F.

 

[Earz]

There's an Irish pub that has every square inch of the bathroom walls covered with one-liners. I'll have to get a few pics the next time I'm there.

The only one I remember off the top of my head
"you can't plow a field by turning it over in your head"

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[pyroman]

Saw this in a bar bathroom.
Here i sit, My cheeks a-flexin,
out popped another Texan.... Under that someone wrote
Naw, Pardner, thats jusr his boots after he done stuck em up youre ass.....

 

[bdholsin]

Here's to pussies and penises...may they always come together.

 

[jeepguy]

here i sit all broken hearted,
came to sh*t, but only farted

 

[jayel]

A man who picks up a cat by the tail .. will find knowledge that cannot be gained in any other way
- Mark Twain

 

[xjwmx]

I want to die in a naked lady avalanche.