What a great weekend!

[I am Carbon]

I walked into a jewelry store this past Friday evening with a beautiful much younger gal by my side. I told the jeweler I was looking for a special ring for my girlfriend.
The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring.
And I said, 'No, I'd like to see something more special.'
At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. 'Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000 the jeweler said. The my girfriend eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement.
And me seeing this I said, 'We'll take it.'
The jeweler asked how payment would be made and I stated, 'by check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon.'
On Monday morning, the jeweler angrily phoned the me and said,'There's no money in that account!'
I said I know
'But let me tell you about MY GREAT WEEKEND!'

 

[Rick1450]

:<) Good one!

 

[Rick1450]

The Deaf Bookkeeper
A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Enzo, has cheated him out of 10 million bucks.

His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place.
It was assumed that Enzo would hear nothing that he might have to testify about in court.

When the Godfather goes to confront Enzo about his missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language.
The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the 10 million bucks is that he embezzled from me."

The lawyer, using sign language, asks Enzo where the money is….

Enzo signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about."
The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you are talking about."

The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Enzo's temple and says, "Ask him again!"
The lawyer signs to Enzo, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him."

Enzo signs back, "OK. You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Bruno's backyard in Woodbridge!"

The Godfather asks the lawyer, "What did he say?"

The lawyer replies, "He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger."

 

[I am Carbon]

Rick thats a good one too