Greatest Quote

[Purplezinger]

"Any significantly advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic"
Arthur C Clarke

 

[resto]

From the TV show "Married with Children"

There's something that just feels right about looking at hooters that don't belong to you.

Al Bundy (at the nudie bar)

 

[Bigfeet]

Quote from a good friend of mine" You can find sympathy in the dictionary between shit and syphilis"

 

[pregrid]

From my old man when I'm just 15 and we're working my first car, a 1930 Model A. He sent me over to a large box of bolts we'd taken off the car to find "two bolts just like this". After looking for a while I told him "I can only find one". His answer? "If there's one, there's two". Went back and sure enough I found the other. I still use this and it still works!

 

[burns]

I'm not sure who this quote is from, I think I got it from the Modern Drunkard website. "I feel sorry for people who don't drink, they wake up in the morning and that's the best they'll feel all day."

Another favorite of mine is from a friend who had not been to my house for about a year. During that time some redecorating had been done. When this friend shows up at my house he says "I love what you've done, it's half shit and half accident."

Frank Sinatra gets the attribution for this one.

 

[yamaman]

"Beer makes you feel like you should feel when your not drinking beer!" Homer J Simpson

Posted via Mobile

 

[ReycleBill]

When I published my first book that no one has ever heard of, a local radio personality called me up one morning for an impromptu interview-- my first interview ever. It was like 5 AM and I was still hung over when the phone started ringing and his assistant said I was to hold to go live on the radio in 30 seconds... I didn't even get a chance to piss.

I got through the interview okay until he asked me, "Mr Jones, can you tell us your favorite quote?"

"Ah, I donno, was it something I said?"

 

[MrBillohnooo]

"Will Rogers was never towed by T Miller"
Bumper sticker in Amarillo TX referring to the tow companys very high rates in the past. They currently are competitive rate wise here.

 

[yamaman]

All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find it was vanity. But those dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes to make it possible. T E Lawrance

Posted via Mobile

 

[Makr]

"When the going gets weird, the weird go pro". HST

 

[peanut]

for me it has to be the monologue from Blade Runner, attributed to Rutger Hauer.
Not a quote but without doubt the most moving and perceptive thing I've read,.. akin perhaps in some respects to William Blake's, 'To see a world in a grain of sand....'

I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. [pause] Time to die.

 

[jd750ace]

My dad told me once, "Son, there's no shame in ignorance. Nobody knows everything, but stupidity goes to the bone."

I had just been "stupid" by having been told how to accomplish a task and precisely 2 things NOT to do, by someone who knew what not to do, and why. I did both, and reaped the exact reward I was told would come.
For those that wonder, when grading a haul road for a mine, 3rd gear is fast enough, even if it feels like wasting time (I was in 5th). Also, I was told that standing up while pulling a ditch in bedrock was dangerous because it can stop the machine like hitting a wall, and you can go through the windshield. I hit a rock in 5th gear, standing up, and took the windshield out with my face. It did not break, but my face, did, and I rolled right out of the front of a CAT 16G onto the top of the blade. If it had let go, I would have run over myself. I climbed on board and stopped the machine. I resumed work with the windshield in the cab with me until lunch, and went back out on top of the hill. The first thing my dad said was, "What gear were you in?" I spent lunch putting the windshield back in! When I was done, the quote above was relayed to me.

 

[BruceDeuce]

hard lesson learned jd! glad your ok!

 

[jd750ace]

Never had my snot locker mashed like that! Both eyes black for a week!

 

[GeorgeKillianLett]

Two of my favorites are right here in the forums! Hope I gave credit to the right guys!

My welding skills have greatly improved my grinding skills...
TwoJugs

I don't even use a kick stand anymore. I just drop the thing where I stop.
littlebill31

 

[Purplezinger]

I don't know if this is a "Forrest Gump" but it sure sounds like it. "Ignorance can be fixed, but stupid is forever". Obviously you weren't stupid, you learned the "Why" of third gear.

 

[jd750ace]

When I was growing up, it was not that common for someone to explain the "why" part either! Should have taken the extra info as extra warning, but my youth and ignorance prevailed over the most careful teachings! Wish that was the only time. My parents got to be so much smarter after I done 4 years in the Army. Glad they wised up! I was worried for a while as a teenager that they didn't know shit!

 

[1974jh5]

 

[ReycleBill]

My dad told me once, "Son, there's no shame in ignorance. Nobody knows everything, but stupidity goes to the bone."

I had just been "stupid" by having been told how to accomplish a task and precisely 2 things NOT to do, by someone who knew what not to do, and why. I did both, and reaped the exact reward I was told would come.
For those that wonder, when grading a haul road for a mine, 3rd gear is fast enough, even if it feels like wasting time (I was in 5th). Also, I was told that standing up while pulling a ditch in bedrock was dangerous because it can stop the machine like hitting a wall, and you can go through the windshield. I hit a rock in 5th gear, standing up, and took the windshield out with my face. It did not break, but my face, did, and I rolled right out of the front of a CAT 16G onto the top of the blade. If it had let go, I would have run over myself. I climbed on board and stopped the machine. I resumed work with the windshield in the cab with me until lunch, and went back out on top of the hill. The first thing my dad said was, "What gear were you in?" I spent lunch putting the windshield back in! When I was done, the quote above was relayed to me.

Now we know why you work in aviation. It's safer! I turned over a backhoe at a young age doing exactly what I had been told not to do. Why I didn't end up under it is beyond me.

 

[Scrambled]

A man is only as old as the women he feels.