The clay soil around here when it gets rained on is slicker'n owl shit.
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state slangs
- Thread starter ron bayless
- Start date
I used to work with a guy that was just full of quaint sayings, Darker than the inside of your hat. That fella' is about as sharp as tapioca. Fucked up like a soup sandwich. That's about as fine as frog hair. Perforated bovine! What the hell have you been eat'n, road apple stew? Harder than woodpecker lips. She could scratch diamonds with that voice. I do miss that ol' coot. But he's deader'n a wedge.
Something's fast: goin' like sh!t through a goose".
Someone who isn't very smart: "doesn't know putty from puppy sh!t"
Someone who isn't very smart: "doesn't know putty from puppy sh!t"
An excessively heavy rain in the summer is referred to as a toad strangler.
A bubbler is a public drinking fountain and Old Fashioneds are made with Brandy.
jonesey
Dyed in the wool 650 nut
Overdressed----- He''s got more skins than a friggin Onion.
Black as the Mare of Hell's waistcoat.
Daft as a brush. Mad as a March Hare.
Someone wearing too much Cologne or Perfume--- smells like a Tarts handbag.
Got this from an old Scots friend, describing a male who will Shag anything -- He'll Shag the barbers floor (coz its got hair on it)
Rough as a Badgers arse.
These are all from the Olde Country. if i use them here, they look at me as if i'm from another Planet, which i probably am. Cheers.
Black as the Mare of Hell's waistcoat.
Daft as a brush. Mad as a March Hare.
Someone wearing too much Cologne or Perfume--- smells like a Tarts handbag.
Got this from an old Scots friend, describing a male who will Shag anything -- He'll Shag the barbers floor (coz its got hair on it)
Rough as a Badgers arse.
These are all from the Olde Country. if i use them here, they look at me as if i'm from another Planet, which i probably am. Cheers.
A BIFFY is an outdoor toilet - and I learned a few weeks ago that the word is an acronym for bathroom in the forest for you.
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Hitndahedfred
Do I look like a people person to you?
Dumb as a box of rocks,,or a bag of dirt,, your choice depending on current company.
solo2racr
Suck, Squeeze, Bang, Blow
Vai tomar no cu.
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Order up a Longneck.
Use a churchkey.
Out in west Texas, red octagonal traffic signs mean: "Downshift"...
Use a churchkey.
Out in west Texas, red octagonal traffic signs mean: "Downshift"...
You made me snort 2M!
Language and expressions are a funny thing. Add to it the Internet and an almost daily access to our English speaking cousins from afar and it's funny how some of the expressions creep into the vernacular.
Bob Kelly III
Ranch Kid from way back,.... that got Old !
How about.....when referring to a fella not being to smart....... He's not got all his oats in his feed bag !.... or, he's not the sharpest tool in the shed !, or , the lights are on but no ones home !
or if brains were dynamite he wouldn't have enough to blow his nose !, or , he's a few can's short of a 6 pack ! ,or, He's Dumber than Dirt.
Or,.... his Axe may be sharp, but his handle's way to short ! ( but he'll keep chipping at it till he get's it !)
and if your referring to his speed ya might say , He's slower than Molasses in January , or Put it in GEAR you'll go faster ! or watching him work is like watching grass grow, ...or, .. Grandma is faster and she's 83 !
or when referring to a persons Mechanical ability..... he has the mechanical ability of a small soap dish, or, if you don't understand it don't F**K with it ! , or if it's not broke DON'T Fix it ! or, yah he has a whole shop full of tools that have never been used !
or when referring to a persons face being UGLY .... He looks like someone that has been beaten really BAD with an ugly stick ! ,or , (with the look of shock and surprise ) Oh my god what happened to face......... Oh it's just you !
or Sam you better stay here while we go in, we don't want you to scare the ladies ! , or Man I've seen UGLY before but he takes the cake !
......
that's all I got .... LOL
.....
Bob.......
or if brains were dynamite he wouldn't have enough to blow his nose !, or , he's a few can's short of a 6 pack ! ,or, He's Dumber than Dirt.
Or,.... his Axe may be sharp, but his handle's way to short ! ( but he'll keep chipping at it till he get's it !)
and if your referring to his speed ya might say , He's slower than Molasses in January , or Put it in GEAR you'll go faster ! or watching him work is like watching grass grow, ...or, .. Grandma is faster and she's 83 !
or when referring to a persons Mechanical ability..... he has the mechanical ability of a small soap dish, or, if you don't understand it don't F**K with it ! , or if it's not broke DON'T Fix it ! or, yah he has a whole shop full of tools that have never been used !
or when referring to a persons face being UGLY .... He looks like someone that has been beaten really BAD with an ugly stick ! ,or , (with the look of shock and surprise ) Oh my god what happened to face......... Oh it's just you !
or Sam you better stay here while we go in, we don't want you to scare the ladies ! , or Man I've seen UGLY before but he takes the cake !
......
that's all I got .... LOL
.....
Bob.......
If a woman is ugly: she's two bag ugly - one for her head and one for your's in case her's falls off.
Dumb person: he's rowing with just one oar in the water.
Dumb person: he's rowing with just one oar in the water.
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This one came out of Utopia TX.
"He looks like his face was on fire,
And somebody tried to put it out with an icepick."
"He looks like his face was on fire,
And somebody tried to put it out with an icepick."
- Messages
- 683
- Reaction score
- 1,477
- Points
- 143
Or, "slicker than frog shit!"
- Messages
- 683
- Reaction score
- 1,477
- Points
- 143
Busier than a one legged man in an ass kickin' contest.
It tastes so good, if you put it on yer head, yer tongue will beat yer brains out! (Jeff Foxworthy).
Of course, we all know what CRS means. "Can't remember shit!" Heard a new one from some older timers along those same lines. He belongs to the CRAFT club. "Can't Remember A Fucking Thing!" And as many of us know, it only gets worse!
Recently heard this one from an electrician at Newark airport. "You can't fix stupid!"
It tastes so good, if you put it on yer head, yer tongue will beat yer brains out! (Jeff Foxworthy).
Of course, we all know what CRS means. "Can't remember shit!" Heard a new one from some older timers along those same lines. He belongs to the CRAFT club. "Can't Remember A Fucking Thing!" And as many of us know, it only gets worse!
Recently heard this one from an electrician at Newark airport. "You can't fix stupid!"
Don't know where it came from, the blank stare:
"Thousand yard stare".
"Deer in the headlights look"...
"Thousand yard stare".
"Deer in the headlights look"...
You keep that nonsense up and I'm gonna take that fly bat and smack you so hard your mamas gonna feel it! Don't make me!
...........his eyes was rollin' around in his head like two B.B.'s in a tuna can..............so stupid you can watch him think.........
I guess these are more like expressions than slang though they are regional.
...........his eyes was rollin' around in his head like two B.B.'s in a tuna can..............so stupid you can watch him think.........
I guess these are more like expressions than slang though they are regional.
