Back to WTF, sorry for the thread drift...
n 1990, Ian Frazier wrote a New Yorker article where the premise was: after 50 years of having everything blow up in his face, Wile E. Coyote finally sues the ACME Corporation for defective products.
in the United States District Court, Southwestern District, Tempe, Arizona
case no. b19294, Judge Joan Kujava, presiding
Wile E. Coyote, Plaintiff
-v.-
ACME Company, Defendant
Opening Statement of Mr. Harold Schoff, attorney for Mr. Coyote: My client, Mr. Wile E. Coyote, a resident of Arizona and contiguous states, does hereby bring suit for damages against the Acme Company, manufacturer and retail distributor of assorted merchandise, incorporated in Delaware and doing business in every state, district, and territory. Mr. Coyote seeks compensation for personal injuries, loss of business income, and mental suffering caused as a direct result of the actions and/or gross negligence of said company, under Title 15 of the United States Code, Chapter 47, section 2072, subsection (a), relating to product liability.
Mr. Coyote states that on eighty-five separate occasions he has purchased of the Acme Company (hereinafter, “Defendant”), through that company’s mail-order department, certain products which did cause him bodily injury due to defects in manufacture or improper cautionary labelling. Sales slips made out to Mr. Coyote as proof of purchase are at present in the possession of the Court, marked Exhibit A. Such injuries sustained by Mr. Coyote have temporarily restricted his ability to make a living in his profession of predator. Mr. Coyote is self-employed and thus not eligible for Workmen’s Compensation.
Mr. Coyote states that on December 13th he received of Defendant via parcel post one Acme Rocket Sled. The intention of Mr. Coyote was to use the Rocket Sled to aid him in pursuit of his prey. Upon receipt of the Rocket Sled Mr. Coyote removed it from its wooden shipping crate and, sighting his prey in the distance, activated the ignition. As Mr. Coyote gripped the handlebars, the Rocket Sled accelerated with such sudden and precipitate force as to stretch Mr. Coyote’s forelimbs to a length of fifty feet. Subsequently, the rest of Mr. Coyote’s body shot forward with a violent jolt, causing severe strain to his back and neck and placing him unexpectedly astride the Rocket Sled. Disappearing over the horizon at such speed as to leave a diminishing jet trail along its path, the Rocket Sled soon brought Mr. Coyote abreast of his prey. At that moment the animal he was pursuing veered sharply to the right. Mr. Coyote vigorously attempted to follow this maneuver but was unable to, due to poorly designed steering on the Rocket Sled and a faulty or nonexistent braking system. Shortly thereafter, the unchecked progress of the Rocket Sled brought it and Mr. Coyote into collision with the side of a mesa.
The complete original pleading is here courtesy of the Texas Bar Association:
https://www.texasbar.com/AM/Templat...mplate=/CM/ContentDisplay.cfm&ContentID=35463
The following is provided in evidence (the rocket sled is about 3:08 in)
Warner Brothers started on a film in 2018 based on this hypothetical court case. This was to be a done in a blend of 2D animation and live action (think "Who Killed Roger Rabbit"). Production wrapped in 2022 after the production component ($30M) of the allotted $80M budget was expended (the rest of the $80M budget is for promotion and whatever else Hollywood accountants load film budgets with before the threshold where payback starts to the production stakeholders).
Last year, 99-year old Warner Bros. merged with the Discovery Channel to become a vast media
disappointment distribution powerhouse.
After the merger, it seems Warner Brothers Discovery stockholders had not been kowtowed to enough with quarterly offerings, and rather than fork out the cash for the rest of the budget required to release Coyote Vs. ACME, they decided they would take a tax write-off of $30-40M million on the production. To do so, by law they must delete the fully completed film, and all supporting artifacts.
So on February 28, Warner Brothers Discovery will delete the film. No ceremonial march with film canisters in-hand to the incinerator at the back of the historic Warner Brothers back lot, but someone will merely point to a folder on a server and click "Delete".
There was general outrage when this was first announced as who with a pulse doesn't like Roadrunner and Wile E Coyote? Warner Brothers Discovery ignored this at first, then announced they would shop the movie to other studios at the full price of $80M. It is reported they got three offers in the $40-$50M range from streaming companies which they chose not accept, WBD holding out for the full $80M.
Is the movie a stinker? We will never know.
As soon as that click on February 28 occurs, Coyote vs. Acme will become one of the rarest films in history. Only the two stills released above by WBD above have been officially published. Seen only by the production crew and three test audiences (where it is reported it got high praise), Warner Brothers Discovery upper management stated that they personally have never seen the completed film to support the claim this is a business-only issue.
Warner Brothers Discovery - what dicks.
You have to expect that somebody along the production line made a copy. Back in film days, somebody would souvenir a videotape of a work print, or drag out film reels of a test print in a late midnight dumpster dive. Many suppressed, lost or unreleased-for-mysterious-reasons exist because of enthusiasts hunting down these copies. In our digital world, it would take only a minute and a thumb drive to glean a copy. Will a purloined copy ever show up? Perhaps North Korean hackers will be our saviors?
It seems to me that the U.S. tax laws should reflect that an abandoned artistic work submitted for a business tax deduction must be donated to the Library of Congress for the benefit of the U.S. citizenry. After all, it is U.S. taxpayers who take the hit from the income loss Warner Brothers Discovery is claiming.
Warner Brothers Discovery - what about
Ars Gratia Artis - Art for Arts sake, for Christ sake? (er, sorry that's actually MGM's slogan)
'That's all Folks', I'm done ranting (the actual Warner Bros. Loony Tunes slogan)
Exhibit B
