How do you know when you've become an Old Fart?

[TwoManyXS1Bs]

You're receiving personalized mail, addressed to you.
Not to "occupant" or "resident".
But to you, specifically, by name, your full name.

From the local mortuaries...

 

[azman857]

I noticed I was starting to get old when just getting off/out of the chair is an effort!

 

[halfmile]

How ironic is this. I just got back from TacoTico and the order came to $10.92. I handed her $11.00 and she gave me back $1.08 and said I gave you the senior discount. I was laughing so hard I could barely say thanks.

 

[TwoManyXS1Bs]

That reminds me of numerous occasions when I'll pay a clerk with a large bill plus some change (just to get that extra metal outta my pocket). Like for a bill of $13.83, I toss out a $20 and a nickle and 3 pennies. I'm expecting $6.25 in change, a $5 + $1 + a quarter. Easier for both of us.

Instead, I get this blanked, crazed look. The calculators come out, buttons frantically punched, sweating, a look of panic, a call to the manager. Eventually, after a conference with the science lab at Cern, I get my change.

I guess they don't teach math much anymore.


Now I find out that the schools are discontinuing teaching cursive handwriting.

Guess what guys, we'll soon have our own secret 'geezer' code...

 

[retiredgentleman]

You know you're getting old when a cute, curvy, middle aged lady gives you a nice smile, while your buying groceries. You think,
wow I'm still a chick magnet, then realize she was looking at you in a fatherly way.

 

[59Tebo]

2M,
I hear ya, about the change. I deal with numbers in my head all day long (What? I'm not retired yet? What's wrong with me?), and find myself just giving them the even number, just so they can 'punch' it up on the register and keep the line going... My son is starting college and can barely print, let alone cursive writing. People say I have beautiful handwriting. When I'm paying attention, maybe. When I'm in a hurry taking notes in the field...I'm lucky if I can read my own writing. During a class on multiplexers, the instructor was explaining the difference in the next series: the addition of a fan shelf. I asked if that was because of all the vacuum tubes. Long pause. Then the class resumed...
My humor runs from absurd to obscure, so I'm used to the blank stares. Like when asked how long I've been working for the company. "Since Carter was president, and Skylab was still in orbit." ....what's a 'Skylab'?

 

[59Tebo]

Retired,
A corollary to that is: you see a cute young lady and wonder "I wonder what her MOTHER looks like"...

 

[jradvantage]

You know you're an old fart when you complain about it being too hot...and the ocean's too loud.
My Uncle told me this in a letter he wrote. He lives two blocks from the ocean on the island of Oahu.

 

[YamadudeXS650C]

....when some sweet booty walks by, and you forget to do a double-take.
(but I'm NOT there, yet ! )

 

[Hitndahedfred]

When you get senior discount without asking for it.

Oh how I hate this one,, lmao

 

[Hitndahedfred]

....when some sweet booty walks by, and you forget to do a double-take.
(but I'm NOT there, yet ! )

OH HELL YES !!!!

 

[FLEA]

when the hookers give you a senior discount without you asking

 

[Downeaster]

When your definition of "getting lucky" means taking a good dump.

When you start believing in the hereafter: I walked all the way out to the kitchen and now I can't remember what I'm here after.

But seriously, folks...My revelation came when I was in my early 30's. I was "temporarily single" while going to a Navy school and living in the barracks in Pensacola, Florida. I was sitting outside with a couple of buddies enjoying a cold adult beverage when a sweet young thing with legs up to here and wearing short shorts walked by. I said something clever like "Well, HELLO there, young lady!"

She turned towards us, lit up a dazzling smile and said "Good Afternoon, Sir!" My buddies, great friends that they were, took several minutes to get themselves under control and one of 'em damn near choked to death on a swallow of beer. Bastards...

 

[Mailman]

That reminds me of numerous occasions when I'll pay a clerk with a large bill plus some change (just to get that extra metal outta my pocket). Like for a bill of $13.83, I toss out a $20 and a nickle and 3 pennies. I'm expecting $6.25 in change, a $5 + $1 + a quarter. Easier for both of us.

Instead, I get this blanked, crazed look. The calculators come out, buttons frantically punched, sweating, a look of panic, a call to the manager. Eventually, after a conference with the science lab at Cern, I get my change.

I guess they don't teach math much anymore.


Now I find out that the schools are discontinuing teaching cursive handwriting.

Guess what guys, we'll soon have our own secret 'geezer' code...

I had an occasion at my favorite coffee shop, where after I ordered, the teenage girl working behind the counter said " Our cash register is down right now, so your breakfast is free." I couldn't believe that there wasn't a manager out there with a pad of paper and a calculator. I should have ordered a bigger breakfast!

Another time I was at Sonic drive in and the young lass on roller skates brought our food out and I handed her a twenty dollar bill.
She gave me the deer in the headlights look and asked me how much change did she owe me?

Kids today! So good with computers, so bad with life skills.

 

[MrBultaco]

If you start needing t-shirts or golf shirts with a pocket so you can put your 'list' of things to do or buy
and don't loose it. My father did this for as long as I can remember....(probably only the last 20 years)

 

[Bob Kelly III]

When your Still waiting for your Government Check to arrive and it arrived 2 days ago !.... that is when you KNOW your gettin' Old fella's !
......
Bob....

 

[TwoManyXS1Bs]

When you can't find where you left something.


And start finding things in unusual places...

 

[MaxPete]

The young kid ahead of my at the liquor store showed his ID to the cute lassie behind the counter and so when it was my turn, I whipped out my ID....and she giggled and said,, "you're so cute - just like my Dad!"

....not quite the reaction I had been going for....

Cheryl Teigs.....

 

[gggGary]

When you can't TRUST a fart................

 

[gggGary]

Crap all of the above fit,
When you realize that one day a trip on the "activity bus" WILL be the highlight of the week?
When it's no longer when will I get to that project but more like; damn it's going to be a BIG auction.
When moving to a house with one floor is a priority.
When you consider a motorcycle with an automatic.
When she no longer asks what are you thinking? cause she knows it's; what did you loose?
When you get the the "wow you can still do THAT" look?
When the young ones smile back because they are sure you are harmless.
When you debate if it's worth picking up something you dropped.
When you don't have enough pockets for all the "aides" you need to get through a day.
What was the question again?